Thoughts.

I remember how he touched my knee, with one or two fingers, stroking it, as we sat in the hallway. Even though I had hairy legs and told him not to.
And I remember walking down the hall and holding his arm as we went to class. Looking forward to seeing someone after class. How many times had I walked alone in that hallway, not really caring, not really minding or noticing. But oh how I missed it when it had stopped, faded away like the ghost of a memory from years past. I walked the halls no more but suddenly they felt empty. Suddenly I felt alone. Surrounded by people I felt alone. He was my best friend. I had never had one of those before. I had never needed one.

But oh how I missed it when it went away.
Oh how I missed it, spending my days looking at a sunset, trying to catch shadows as solid figures to piece back together what was gone forever. Who would touch my hairy knee as he had? Love me like he had?

And who was I, to love them back?

Bitter Bitter

Have you ever
bitten into an apple
just to find it doesn't
taste right?
Something that looked
so sweet..
turned
so bitter.
And you're
revolted by it
discusted by it
saddened by it
Because that apple
was supposed to be
your friend.
Your Boyfriend.
And somehow
the words they say
don't comfort you
but break you up
and peel your skin
and before you know it
you're the apple.

And they've already cut in.