Thursday, December 18, 2008


I'm sick?

who knew?

Who knows?

How did I ever fall in love with you?

WHY did i ever fall in love with you?

Why all of a sudden
do i feel withdrawn from you?

Why do you think i'm sick?

Why does it make me feel sick?

Whats for the better
is for the worst.
What you thought would bring joy
only brings hurt.

You've changed.
You're numb.
You're cold.
You're sad.
And you're an

Have I changed?

Happy Birthday.

Why work on your birthday?

When you're dad is
When you're mother is
When your sister doesn't
When you're about to lose your
When no one is
When you're almost
And you're losing

You work even if its only
for 10 dollars.

Even if it is on your birthday.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Truth Be Told..

Called down to the office
panic in my throat.
What did i do?

Relief fills me.
I'm so happy

theres no punishment.

But what the hell?
crushes me
Grinds my bones up

How can you assume such a thing?
[how can they not?]
I'm here aren't I?
[in a sense]
Still Alive?

But i leave the office
They trust me so
My smooth words,
and sly laughter
have tricked their minds

so they let it go.

As i close the door
relief should fill me
[anger even]
but i'm just a little sad
because through the lies
[anger, desperation, tears..]

There was truth.

So observe my wrist
read into my eyes
and notice my ribs
They're all in disguise.

The only things they'll prove
is that you're
for my


Tuesday, December 2, 2008


I look at the old
wall postings
the old

A sick feeling churns
in the pit of my stomach.
A guilty,

I shouldn't be reading this
But i deserve to know!

Dont I...?

I was used.
[you forgave him]
It still hurts.
[only when you look at the past]
He says he loves me
[he does]
You dont deserve him.
[thats a definite.]
He wants to be with me forever
[do you?]
I love him.
[you're lying.]
I know
[so why..?]
I dont know.
[you'll hurt him]
He'll be hurt either way.
[save him a day.]
I should.
[you wont]
I cant.
[you must]
I will.

Not today.

(end of conversation.)