I tried.

I tried to impress you,
and make you happy.

So I wrote a song,
that made everyone laugh
and clap their hands.
and I went backstage, and had a rootbeer
because i felt accomplished.


But when that was done
i wrote a new song
and it was more of a revenge song
that made everyone clap
and say "good job"
but you werent there
so i went backstage
and got drunk
because i felt alone.

When revenge songs were done
i wrote a new song
it was long and sad
and it made people clap
and put their lighters in the air.
so i went backstage
and i smoked some pot
because your lighter wasn't there.

When people were done clapping
and all the lighters were gone
i decided, to write
one last
goodbye song.
So i wrote it in blood
when i cut both my wrists
and it made the people cry
and it made your stomach twist.

And it rained on the day
when they buried me in the ground
and not even all the people there
could have drowned the silent sound

from you not being there.

Sick?

I'm sick?

who knew?

Who knows?

How did I ever fall in love with you?

WHY did i ever fall in love with you?

Why all of a sudden
do i feel withdrawn from you?

Why do you think i'm sick?

Why does it make me feel sick?

Whats for the better
is for the worst.
What you thought would bring joy
only brings hurt.

You've changed.
You're numb.
You're cold.
You're sad.
And you're an
Ass.

Have I changed?

Happy Birthday.

Why work on your birthday?

When you're dad is
gone.
When you're mother is
leaving.
When your sister doesn't
Care.
When you're about to lose your
House.
When no one is
there.
When you're almost
homless.
And you're losing
hope.

You work even if its only
for 10 dollars.

Even if it is on your birthday.

Truth Be Told..

Called down to the office
panic in my throat.
What did i do?

hahhahaha
Relief fills me.
Suicide?
I'm so happy

theres no punishment.

But what the hell?
Anger
crushes me
Grinds my bones up
andeatsmealive.

How can you assume such a thing?
[how can they not?]
I'm here aren't I?
[in a sense]
Still Alive?
[barley]

But i leave the office
They trust me so
My smooth words,
and sly laughter
have tricked their minds

so they let it go.

As i close the door
relief should fill me
[anger even]
but i'm just a little sad
because through the lies
[anger, desperation, tears..]

There was truth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So observe my wrist
read into my eyes
and notice my ribs
They're all in disguise.

The only things they'll prove
is that you're
falling
for my

Lies.

[Secrets]

I look at the old
wall postings
the old
messages.

A sick feeling churns
in the pit of my stomach.
A guilty,
jealous
monster.

I shouldn't be reading this
[no..]
But i deserve to know!

Dont I...?


I was used.
[you forgave him]
It still hurts.
[only when you look at the past]
He says he loves me
[he does]
You dont deserve him.
[thats a definite.]
He wants to be with me forever
[do you?]
I love him.
[you're lying.]
I know
[so why..?]
I dont know.
[you'll hurt him]
He'll be hurt either way.
[save him a day.]
I should.
[you wont]
I cant.
[you must]
I will.
[when?]

Not today.

(end of conversation.)

A Conclusion of Frustration.

Its snowing.

I walked along the breezy white
looked up to see the sun
but it was night.

The flakes of snow
drifted from the sky
Then i wondered why i'm here
and started to cry.

Taking a picture of the graceful
dancing
dandruff,
I plan to post it with a blog.

A mystery of the darkness

Fuck. I cant write worth shit.

This poem sucks and so does my life. Ever since i was little, i've wanted to be a writer, and photographer. But no, i cant write one fucking poem.

Anger rushes over me, into me
My desire to rip the paper to shreads
freaks into the pit of my stomach
and engulfs the emptiness of my incompetent being.

I am useless.

God Accepts the Willing.

Black
Skin.
White
room.

What is religion?
Dont we all have the
same belief in the end?

Hated because i'm different.
Hate it because i'm wanted
to be the same.

Not accepted
because of
one belief.

Different?
Does it always mean
Unworthy?

Am i really unworthy?

I've worked my whole life to be
respected.
Done my best to be the person
I am.

I shouldn't have to change.

I cant.

I wont.

Its like being black and
walking into a room of whites.
They dont even give a chance
to look past the color
before their eyes turn red
with Hatred.

Whats the point of escaping
to Freedom,

If no one accepts you?

There,
but not

Aknowledged.