Thursday, September 20, 2012

You Can't Leave Me

And you know this.

It's not a controlling thing. Its a feeling thing. You know what I mean.

You've shut yourself down.

I know why you can't feel there.
I know why you've grown numb.

Its because no one makes you think.
No one makes you contemplate.
You just win
and theres no challenge.

But there was a challenge with
me
There was a greatness with
me
And there was always something
trememdous
in arguing
with someone
who also
always
won.

Who also
thought One
could make a difference,
That One
could change the world,
That Maybe
we weren't crazy
Or maybe
we
were just the right amount.

I was the light to your darkness.
And oh, yes.

You were dark.

And you
became friends with
me
because in your mind
I was a prize
not emotionally-
Just that-
A prize. In a
Collection.

But something snapped.
and something happend.

And I was too much of a challenge
For someone numb
to win
such a
Prize.

It took more effort than you thought.
Than you wanted to give

Because I resisted.
And I didn't like you.
Not like the others.
And I understood you.
Not like the others.

Before me,
you didn't even know you needed to be understood.

Like a piece of the puzzle you didn't know was missing.

You convinced me.

It held for a little while.
But then you left.
And the prize was gone.
Replaced by work
and duties
and goals
and achievments
and people
who didn't understand
who you didn't care about

And your prize had changed.

You looked at it from a distance now.
And far away,
it wasn't as beautiful
or magnificent
as it was up-close.

You still wanted it,
maybe.

The challenge became too difficult
you shut down
Maybe some prizes are too hard to win
so you give up trying
and start to think its not worth it
at all.

But you had already won the prize.
And because of that
you now looked away in indifference.
Going
I win
Like always
and the challenge was gone
wasn't what you thought
wasn't what you wanted
and now you looked at different prizes.

Easier prizes
Ones that didn't require thought.
Not real thought.

Ones that are easily
Won
That won't fight back
And maybe you'll be happy that way

Or maybe you
will wake up one day
in silk sheets
and satin robe
and look around at your trophies
at your prizes
an old man
"Intelligent" and "Wise"
they all say.

But Alone.

Never lonely.
But alone.

And you'll still feel numb.
and you'll still feel empty.

Because you're not Voldemort.

We're Albus Dumbledore.

You- later on.

Only if you've read Harry Potter
and actually understand people
Will you truly get this.

But you don't have to be.
You ask "Why Should I?"

You know why you should.

One day you will come back to me.
 One day you will want to come back to me.

But it will be too late.

I hate writing this
 because my writing always comes true.

Its sad that I can't write the one that I want.

But I can't because it's not over.
We're not that couple. Not that kind of couple.

Its not over, because I don't feel it.
Do you feel it?
Something is over.
The way we fantasized, yes.
The way we pictured it could be,
yes.
But we're not that kind of couple.
You said we could be happy.
But thats not our kind of happy.

We make our own happiness.

We will be happy together
living a life we originally planned
alone.

I know why you did this.


And I know you're still there.
Under everything,
you're still there.
And one day,

you will come back to me.

Never remember, Never Forget.

Thats how we sang it..


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